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Sunday, February 24th, 2013

Subject:Life moves on
Time:5:36 pm.
So, it's been about two and a half years, I think.  Actually, I was totally going to start blogging somewhere else, but I never did, and now I've forgotten my username and password.  Anyway...

I quit the job from hell.  I passed my "So you think you might want to be a paralegal?" class (and decided that I don't really want to be a paralegal, but that I could do it, if I had to).  I've got a little time on my hands before I require myself to get some kind of job (I'm thinking part time), and what I'm really hoping is that I'll get my shit together and do some serious writing.  I want so badly to be published- so badly that I've kind of been self-sabotaging myself this whole time.  It's scary and frustrating but... well, I do think that if I can pull it together that I have at least a shot.  So, here's hoping.
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Wednesday, June 1st, 2011

Time:5:29 am.
Every once in a while I think "I should post about that to my LJ." I never do. Randomly, I'm posting tonight.

I had a series of dreams earlier. They all started with me getting out of bed and making my way to the living room in order to prove that there were no demons waiting to get me. A demon would get me, I'd realize that it was a dream, and the process would start over.  As I asked myself, 'is it real this time?' I made myself make the dream more realistic and it was a shock, every time that it was another dream.

Then I woke up, got out of bed, and made my way to the living room in order to prove that there were no demons waiting to get me.
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Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

Subject:Sayings that didn't catch on.
Time:5:41 am.
Sometimes I think of a 'great' saying. I use it, and then I get a blank look in return. Sometimes I take this as a personal challenge and decide that I'll keep using the phrase in appropriate situations until someone laughs (damn it). Such is the case with:

That's ironic like a song by Allanis Morrisette.

In other cases I just decide to keep the phrase because it's fun. Like:

I am the rat. This is the ship.

If that's not an appropriate thing to say when you leave work, I don't know what is.
Comments: Read 10 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, June 4th, 2009

Subject:Been so long...
Time:10:20 pm.
Mood: calm.
I've never been good at updating journals... One of the problems has got to be when I look back over them and think 'do I really sound like that? Ugh.' But anyway, onto something that I've been finding moderately amusing.

At work, the management has seen fit to add three bulletin boards to the work floor. There is one for each shift (tour, as we call them). Tour 3 (evening crew) have tons of things on theirs. There are stats, ratings, pictures of the supervisors, and a score of supposedly inspiring thoughts and quotes. Tour 2 (day shift) have a few things, stats, a news sheet, and a few quotes. Tour 1 (my shift, the people who work in the middle of the night), has a sign that says "Tour 1 news: coming soon!" It's been there for several weeks, and I'm pretty sure the plan is to leave it there until the boards go away.
Heh, sometimes I actually like my supervisors.
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Tuesday, January 13th, 2009

Subject:I moved
Time:7:31 am.
Mood: blank.
I moved into a tiny, very tiny, apartment. I think it's kind of adorable (though with me there it probably won't stay that way...). Oh well, project Life Moves On... well, it moves on. Slowly. Then quickly. Kind of like a lethargic frog with horrifically bad hiccups.
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Friday, November 7th, 2008

Subject:Church and State?
Time:10:52 am.
Mood: annoyed.
Edit: After some time I've decided that I was a bit unfair. I'm still annoyed at the strong handed influence that went on, but I also have to admit that my blanket statement wasn't fair. There were lots of church members who decided to mind their own business and live their beliefs in their own homes.

So, I've pretty much given up on religion. I've sited a number of reasons for this ranging from disbelief in the health of group thinking to my inherent laziness. The biggest reason though, is the intolerance that I just couldn't justify with my ideas of what a supreme being should want in their children. I take the fact that I do have a biased point of view into consideration when I rant about the 'separation of church and state' issue because I really do try to be fair to the opinions of others. I may not succeed, but it looks like I try a lot harder than certain others...

LDS church: Shame on you*. The only good thing about the level of success you've had in stamping out the rights of others is that since you are the least popular Christian church in existence, that as soon as the other bigots feel they've gotten rid of gay people- you're next! Go on, ignore that the separation of church and state is the only thing that ensures any kind of religious freedom. Endorse government sponsored discrimination and set a precedence for people to vote away the rights of groups they don't like. I wonder how many rounds you'll last before the fire line suddenly becomes a lot less satisfying to watch.

*In response to the massive fund raising done to pass proposition 8 in California.
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Friday, August 1st, 2008

Subject:I forgot, I forgot...
Time:8:04 am.
It's strange to think that I haven't been writing because too much has been happening instead of too little. I makes me think back to the first time I wrote (under duress) in a journal. Several pages with dates and then the phrase "not much happened today." The lives of grade school students aren't especially exiting. At least most of them aren't. Isn't it kind of cruel to make a kid recount daily their lack of life? I know for a fact that I wasn't the only one. My friends have gotten to the point that people knowing about their early lack of life is the *least* of their worries, heh heh.
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Monday, May 12th, 2008

Subject:Too good not to post
Time:3:50 pm.
Mood: amused.

Star Wars Horoscope for Aquarius

You can be cruel and torment people who disagree with you.

Deep down, there is a peace-loving, friendly side to you.

You have a knack for inflicting pain on people and use your intellect during battle.

Star wars character you are most like: Darth Vader

Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, March 26th, 2008

Subject:Beowulf- The Beginnings of Cloud Strife
Time:12:23 am.
Mood: amused.
Or, perhaps, just a justification for giving heroes big ass swords that shouldn't be physically possible to lift. But a hero can, because he's just that damn good.

Yeah, someday George and I will make a video game staring a large woman with a big (but not unreasonably sized) ax and a boy armed with a magical fruit knife. That'll be the day. Then gamers will have what they didn't know they wanted all this time!
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, February 9th, 2008

Subject:Meme? Tagged? Funkadilic, man
Time:2:08 am.
7 Quirky Facts Meme

Read more...Collapse )
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, February 4th, 2008

Subject:rules of engagement: a new election policy.
Time:12:50 am.
Mood: contemplative.
As I tried to keep my mind from going numb at work this past evening I found myself thinking about what rules I would put in place to make political elections what I think they should be. I hate that elections are decided by character assassinations and the plugging of ideals that no one really holds. So, here are some of the steps I decided on to try to avoid another year of meaningless mudslinging:

1) Everyone takes a moment to remember and admit that they are not perfect and neither is anyone else.

2) When a candidate is put forward a formal investigation is made. Indiscretions are judged on a basis of whether there was intent to harm. If the candidate had speeding tickets or in a stage of youthful rebellion tried an illegal substance it is ignored. If they participated in rape, assault, or any hate crime they are barred from the election process. If they had consensual sexual relations with an unconventional partner it is emphatically ignored*, etc.

3) After the investigation (and elimination) of possible candidates those remaining are not allowed to pull events from another candidate's life unless both of the following criteria are met: there is proof and it is directly related to an issue being discussed in the political debates (prior to the introduction of personal material)
*If a candidate argues against a coupling that they have participated in this information may be made public.

4) Candidates will take responsibility for their 'supporters'. Even if a political add is sponsored by a third party, if it violates the privacy of candidates without the aforementioned cause then the candidate supported by this third party must either make a public rejection of the statements made or be seen publicly to pay an interference fine for the codes broken.

So, there you go- my version of 'how to fix America', or at least tonight's version of it.
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Tuesday, December 25th, 2007

Subject:"Merry fuckin' Christmas"
Time:4:00 am.
The subject today is a quote for one of my coworkers. She was referring to the fact that we were at work for the end of Christmas eve and the beginning of Christmas morning- typing zipcodes for letters that were mailed too late.

I can hardly believe today is a holiday. Maybe it'll seem more like it in several hours when I wake up for 'dinner'. Of course, then I'll go back to work so it can hardly be too festive. Ah well, it's good money. That's why this year I actually bought things for people instead of sending out a really lame email.

Well, that's really all I had to say. Merry fuckin' Christmas and to all a good night.
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Friday, November 30th, 2007

Subject:Waiting for God
Time:9:25 pm.
I was working on a longer rant but... well, that'll just have to wait.

A bit ago I remembered my favorite line from a British comedy that I haven't seen in years. In Waiting for God, Diana Trent says at some point- "It's the delicate web of deceit we weave that holds society together."

And in several small and large ways that's absolutely true. How often do we tell ourselves little lies to get through the day? I just think it's something to think on. Lies have the same power to be harmful or even noble. Why do I find this oddly comforting?
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Saturday, November 3rd, 2007

Subject:It's after 3am...
Time:3:45 am.
Mood: productive.
If you're cleaning your bathroom (taking a short break to write at LJ) you're just as sad as I am!

It's kind of interesting though. I'm not a tidy person in any way. I do believe that some have used the term 'slob'. I generally wait until my space is so annoyingly dirty that I can't stand it, and then do a halfassed job of getting it back to acceptable (by me). Clean enough for company means that I have hidden all of the dirty underwear.

And yet, here I am, working a lot harder at getting the place clean than I have in a very long time. I'm not expecting company, nor is there any other real, physical sort of reason I can think of for it. But it kind of struck me as oddly appropriate anyway. See, the past two years I have been cleaning up my life in very real ways. I'm finally trying to get things together and figure out who I'm capable of being for the long run.

Of course, symbolic relevance aside, that's probably not the reason I'm doing it either. It must come down to control. I can't control what happens with my family. There's not a lot I can do about my job (beyond put up with it or find something else). All the financial stuff is just going to happen and I'll figure it out as I go. But it's scary to have all of these elements that are mostly outside of my control. It's frustrating that I don't know how everything will play out to help or hinder my goal to be *gone* (and hopefully somewhere infinitely better) by the end of next summer.
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Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007

Subject:Except for the smell...
Time:4:14 am.
Mood: irritated.
A certain song came up on my playlist and it reminded me of a gripe I meant to share.
My parents' and grandparents' generations do like to say how much more violent my generation is than they were. Many of them blame video games...
I just have one little thing I really want to say- it's people from those generations that are *sending* mine to war. Most of us were content to murder pixels. But I guess since the old men aren't doing the actual killing, just the ordering and sending, they're not the 'violent' ones. Yeah. I'm sure that counts in some geezerly sport. You know that phrase 'horseshoes and hand grenades'? Heh, how appropriate.
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Thursday, September 13th, 2007

Subject:Baby, I'm a fool for you
Time:6:25 am.
Mood: indescribable.
What a tremendous day of ups and downs. Had a damnably tough time getting up- fail to do my errands. But then I get to gorge myself on good sushi. Go to a concert which is badly staffed (among other things) and has the worst act I've ever heard at a paying establishment for the second opener. I was getting quite annoyed until Muse came onstage and made all the pain go away. They were fantastic. Absosmegginglutely fantastic.
I got home in a high from the concert, went to plug my mp3 player into the computer to charge when the whole machine spontaneously just stopped working, refusing to be turned back on. As I'm super geek this hasn't fully impeded my nerding- as you can see the efforts. I simply plugged the network cable into the *other* pc on my desk and am using it. Still, the nice one with all of my recent files is dead and it makes me sad...

There are so many other things I could say in this post, but I think I'll save them for another day. Perhaps I'll try for one I'm feeling lucid... nah, the wait'd be far too long.
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Sunday, July 15th, 2007

Subject:Another film and other news
Time:4:39 am.
Mood: lethargic.
Actually, I saw two films tonight. I saw the latest installment of the Harry Potter series- which was a lot better than I had been lead to believe. I could say quite a bit about it, but it's really the other film I watched afterwards that I wanted to ramble about. In an effort to be more "web polite" than I generally am, I will warn you (my wond'rous, imaginary 'you')this one time only that there are severe spoilers ahead. There is also minor pompousness, so be doubly warned.

Pan's Labyrinth was directed by the director of The Devil's Backbone which I've been recommending to fans of suspense/horror for a few years now. I don't really want to compare the two and belittle either by arbitrarily deciding which is the better film. Besides, it's the trademark poetry of the presentation that makes both anyhow.

Pan's Labyrinth asks a few questions, but probably none as strongly as: do you want to believe in magic? Despite what seems like the obvious answer to me, I know several people who would answer 'no'. They would want it all to be hard reality that one little girl tried to color over through her own instability in a situation that would overwhelm her. They have decided that happy endings are a 'trite' commodity that only the unenlightened would seek.

I wondered if it was symbolic of Christian beliefs. Surely there's an obvious resemblance between a faun and what would become the symbolic depiction of Satan, and the faun is called on to play devil's advocate in the last trial. She even has that beautifully obvious and amazingly damning moment of weakness that is somehow still forgiven. And where can she be going to find her dead parents but heaven?

But what about the adventure? Symbolic or not, is it real or is it a hallucination? Well, I figure that 'magic' has always been a matter of perspective. Magic is what you don't understand. It's what you don't want to understand because you're terribly afraid of disappointment. Fortunately for us dreamers though, magic's also a feeling that can be created through the inspiring and imaginative. It's real enough and fleeting enough to remain what it is without the danger of true definition.
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Thursday, June 14th, 2007

Subject:"Everyone has a purpose in life"
Time:11:19 pm.
Mood: tired.
I watched Lady in the Water with my parents earlier tonight. It's not without flaws, but in its way it was a beautiful film. Some of the pondering is perhaps overdone- but at the same time, it's not as if we stop asking those questions, so I suppose the world can still spend a bit of time thinking those concepts over.

So I thought at one point: My purpose is whatever my purpose is at whatever moment it is. It made me realize again that I don't really believe that a person has one big purpose they were meant for since the moment they were born. Maybe some people do, key figures or something- but I don't even really believe that. While I believe that some events must take place that there is uncertainty in who will take them up. I think that our purpose is our will and our will only takes into account things that we're at least partially aware of. Am I full of shit? Usually, but sometimes I get things right anyway. I'll let you know if I find out whether or not I'm right about this one.
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Wednesday, June 6th, 2007

Subject:Where I chose to begin
Time:8:39 pm.
Mood: indescribable.
It was a hard choice, what with life going crazy.
I went on a road trip to Fanime and had a largely wonderful time. Yaoi bingo, such a lovely innovation...
I'm in the process of applying for a deadly dull but well paying job.
I'm also making future plans for running a music/private lesson studio, and also for doing some actual recording.
My family life is indescribable. I'm trying not to think about it too much.
I think I'm finally starting to like who I am.
I'm going to try to be someone I like just a little bit more by the end of the year.

And there you have the explosion in a nutshell- beyond all the things I forgot.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, May 11th, 2007

Subject:Plugging! To shame or not to shame...
Time:12:05 am.
Most lovely dookychan has started his web comic *today*. If you would enjoy romping with amazons, envisioning the likely sapphic interactions of large women or are just really bored- check it out.

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